8 Reasons to learn a foreign language

1. It's a rewarding challenge

One of the main reasons the majority of children give up learning a foreign language at the age of 14 is because it is 'too hard.' I can't deny that learning a language is hard, because it is. But when you have your first near fluent conversation, it is worth every second of work you put into learning it. 


2. It's an interesting point of conversation

In my experience of learning German for seven years, and studying it at degree level for two and a half years, if you mention that you study a language, people are instantly impressed and interested. Learning a language to a high level is such a rarity in Britain that people are always interested in why you study it and, annoyingly, always ask you to speak some of the language. When they can't understand it. Pointless, but amusing nonetheless.

3. It looks good on your CV

Graduates take hint: being able to speak another language (French, German, Spanish etc) apparently impresses employers. Probably because it sets you apart from the hundreds of other applicants who are relying on their BA in <insert generic humanities subject> alone to get them a job. Considering that we are in the EU, whatever opinion you have of this, there are countless job opportunities where having a good grasp of a major European language will benefit you immensely. 

4. Travel opportunities

An obvious one, but, if you speak a foreign language it naturally allows you to live more easily in another country. As I've mentioned before, because of our EU membership (how long this will last is another question) you can live and work without any questions asked in tens of other countries. So get learning.

5. Not looking like your stereotypical ignorant Brit

As you're probably aware, us Brits have a bit of a worldwide reputation as being pretty lazy when it comes to learning languages. So, don't be a stereotype and try and learn at least a little of the language of the country you're visiting. In Germany for example, it's practically a given that you can speak basic English. We should return the favour for once. 

6. Feeling intellectually superior

I'm not saying that speaking a language can compete with "I'm a doctor," but being able to speak another language is a hell of a lot more interesting than saying that you did a BA in English and now work in an office.

7. Doing a year abroad

Studying a language is hard, so it's only fair that you get a year to 'improve your language skills' in a country where your chosen language is chosen. Essentially it's a year to travel, make amazing new friends and experience you just wouldn't sat in lectures and seminars. Now how does that not sound appealing?

8. Erasmus Grant
Need I say more? Money to study or work abroad that you don't have to pay back. Cheers EU. 

How to be German- Part 2: Language and Body Language

As promised, here is part zwei of my guide on how to appear German as a foreigner. Now that I've hit my fourteenth week in Germany, I feel like I've observed more than enough 'real life' Germans now to know how they act. 

Language

 If in doubt, always reply with 'ach so,' 'genau' or 'krass.'
When agreeing with something, you can't go wrong with genau. When expressing surprise or shock, use ach so or krass. All the Deutsch vocabulary you will ever need.

 Speak really quickly or mumble, depending on your gender
German women speak really, really quickly. Sometimes so quickly that I cannot understand a word. And men, just mumble and say 'junge' and 'alter' a lot. Sure fire way to convince Germans you are one of them. 

 Insert random English swear words into your sentences
Fuck is definitely the swear word of choice in Germany. I've heard a woman use it when she got caught without a ticket on the train, heard my housemates use 'what the fuck' in the middle of sentences, and I've even heard ten year olds at school using the f word. Clearly it's another case of using an English word because it sounds cool, without knowing what it really means. 

Body Language

Stare and shake hands
The only advice you need. Stare at anyone and everyone, even for no reason. Oh and when you meet or are introduced anybody, even if it's only for a few seconds. Don't even think about going in for a cheeky kiss on the cheek. At least not until you've met the person a few times. And even then, it's not particularly normal. 

Next time it's part 3: FOOD

Die Woche der vielen Zuege

Or 'the week of many trains.'

Excluding my normal strassenbahn activities, I believe that I've been on around twelve trains this week. Of which I have only paid for four. I love my Semesterticket.

So the week of many trains began with a train to Dusseldorf on Monday morning with the Cologne crew. Because we clearly work far too hard here, the paedagogischer austauschdienst (my employer) decided that we all need a little mini holiday to Dusseldorf. 

Now firstly, I need to explain that there is a massive rivalry between Cologne and Dusseldorf. Predominantly over carnivals and beer. So, being an adopted Koelnerin, I was sceptical about Dusseldorf. But it is a beautiful city. So much more aesthetically pleasing than Cologne (sorry.) Firstly we went to the Landtag of Nordrhein-Westfalen which was a crazily designed building. I'm not going to lie, my favourite part of the visit was without a doubt the kaffee und kuchen at the end. Germans know how to do a good cake. There were four different varieties and we had the perfect number of people on the table to distribute the cake equally. Then an unidentified Spanish assistant came and ruined the perfect ratio. Still, Shane and myself managed to appear greedy and possibly offend some French assistants in one fail swoop with our ridiculous cake eating. Success.

Then it was onto train number two of the week to take Emily and me back to Cologne to see Alt-J. Something which I was VERY excited about. After a traumatic experience on the U-Bahn involving 'graffiti' and a crazy woman, we finally found the venue, which was essentially in an industrial estate. Unfortunately, this was a Two Door Cinema Club gig, with Alt-J as support. So Alt-J only played for about half an hour. But what a half hour. At the risk of sounding like a massive hipster dickhead, I nearly cried when I heard the first bars of Tessellate. It was magical, despite the unappreciative Germans around us. We watched a bit of Two Door Cinema Club, who were alright. Nothing to write home about. The night in Dusseldorf when we arrived back can be summed up with: darts, Magners, failed Doener search and Brits on tour. Dusseldorf on a Monday night is most certainly not buzzing.

On Tuesday after raping the free breakfast hard, we were all put onto a coach like schoolchildren to Essen. Because we were being treated like kids, we decided to act like them too, playing music loudly at the back of the bus and generally acting like 15-year old chavs. First stop was the Ruhr museum, which I can sum up in one word: coal. We then had some epic Turkish food for lunch in a restaurant we'd found on our previous trip to Essen, and were taken to an art gallery called Museum Folkwang. Which being honorary 15-year olds we found hilarious. I thought it was quite interesting, but being a group of about 50+ language assistants, security soon took a dislike to us resulting in us retreating to the cafe to eat overpriced cake (5 euro bottle of water Charlie?) and play a game of would you rather?

Tuesday night was more civilised: the majority of the Cologne girls and I went to a rather upmarket Indian restaurant where we ate rather beautiful curry. We then ended up in yet another Irish pub where I drank Heineken until I basically fell asleep.

Wednesday- the day I'd been dreading. For two reasons. 1. I knew we had to go back to reality. 2. I'd heard we had to watch a puppet show for 2 hours. Firstly we had a city tour of Dusseldorf which was interesting and the woman was amazingly lovely, but it was so so cold. Then came the puppet show. It wasn't as bad as I thought, but when it's entitled ,,Die unendliche Geschichte'' (the unending story) you know it's gonna get a little tedious. I was asleep on Shane's shoulder for about 75% of it so I feel unable to comment on how good/bad it really was.

Thursday was fairly uninteresting apart from turning up to school to find out it was a teacher training day which I hadn't been informed about, which obviously I thought was great. Thankfully the day was saved by Shane who invited me to go shopping with him and his friend Anne, so I spent a lovely few hours speaking German, discovering cute little shops and eating some great Japanese food at Bento Box.

Friday was Belgium day. And the day I finally discovered what utter useless scheisse Deutsche Bahn is. My train to Aachen was 15 minutes late, meaning I missed my nice shiny ICE train to Liege. Instead what greeted me was a train that looked like it hadn't been refurbished since the 60's. Not the best first impression of Belgium. 

However upon arriving in Liege, I changed my mind completely. Liege station is absolutely stunning. Google it. Rose took me to her house, which is ridiculously ancient and beautiful- a stark contrast to my flat here in Cologne. After a surreal dinner of green curry whilst watching BBC1, we ventured out to some bars. The first place we went (the name escapes me) was the craziest bar I've ever seen. There was something completely covered in ice gems, that's all I need to say. I had my first raspberry beer in a long time and met her German friend Anne who sounds American and speaks perfect English. Standard Germans really. After a brief stop in La Tipi where I was nearly dragged off by a very creepy French man saying things to me I couldn't understand, we entered Le Carre. Le Carre (or however you spell it, my french is nonexistent) is basically a maze of alleys filled with bars and people drinking in the street. Here I found out two things: Belgian beer is even cheaper than German beer and Belgian men are the creepiest people ever. 

On Saturday we had a Belgian/German fusion breakfast of veggie sausage and cheese sandwiches before heading out to see Liege by day. Liege is pretty, but in a really old-fashioned way. We went to this amazing cake shop and I had this chocolate-orange mousse thing which was incredible. Then we came across an Oxfam shop. Uninteresting you say? Oh no. I found THE best jumper I have ever seen. It's a hand-knitted tom and jerry cardigan. Too amazing.

I then sampled some pommes (I couldn't go to Belgian without eating chips) before hopping on a train to Brussels to go and see KASABIAN. We also saw a chocolate train in Brussel-Zuid station which was pretty awesome. 

I'm not going to bore you all with how amazing I thought Kasabian were, but they were SO GOOD. We were pretty close to the front which meant I had a perfect view of Serg. I sang, I danced, I jumped, I even spoke to some Belgian people. In english of course. It was so good. The train home was a haze of hyperness and tuc biscuits, which pleased the other passengers a lot at 1am. 

And today, after stealing Rose's bed and making her sleep on the caterpillar (the worst blow-up mattress you have ever seen) we wandered round a market where you could buy live chickens and turkeys, discovered my German bank card doesn't work in Belgium and drank gone-off Cecemel. 

So that concludes Die Woche der vielen Zuege. Apologies for the word-vomit like post, I promise next time I'll write something more well-constructed!

How to be German- Part 1: Aesthetics

I've now lived in Germany for nearly 3 months, and, despite my best efforts, I still don't think I've mastered how to be a German. For example, I refuse to let my Kleidung be dictated by the weather. So here is part 1 of how to transform yourself into a proper citizen of the Fatherland, through only appearance.

Disclaimer: this blog is a huge generalisation, and is in no way meant to cause offence. I love Germany and the German people.

1. Buy a padded jacket

When it comes to outerwear in Germany, it must make you appear at least a size bigger than you really are. Due to the German's obsession with being prepared for all weather conditions possible (because clearly there is a chance of a snowstorm in early September,) padded items are verpflichtend (mandatory) at all times. As it gets colder, Germans progress through their padded repertoire- from a Jack Jones gilet, to a padded short jacket, all the way through to an ankle length puffa jacket which makes you look like a human sleeping bag. 

For the boys, a Jack Jones gilet is probably the best starting point to ease yourself into the padded look. For women, the coat must also have a belt around the waist, to ensure that despite looking like a sleeping bag, you can still show off that figure you've spent hours playing various sports to achieve.

2. Wear trainers with every outfit, for every occasion

Because you need to be prepared for any eventuality that could happen in your new German life, it's best to wear some sensible footwear. I.e trainers. The more hideous, the better. Think the sort of trainers you used to wear for PE at school. And combine them with any outfit. Go out to a club wearing them, the no trainers rule certainly doesn't apply here. 

If you really can't bear to part with your fashionable side, fear not. Converse are here for you. I swear every German person owns a pair of Converse. About 60% of the nation seems to be wearing them at any given time. I purchased a purple pair before moving here to germanify myself. Turns out they're a bit too bright to convince people I am really deutsch.

3.Never go out with bare legs, not even when its 30 degrees outside

Germans love the sun. They flock all over the Mediterranean (predominantly to Majorca) every summer to annoy mildly-racist British tourists with their sunbed-saving ways. But when the sun comes out in their own beautiful country, do they go outside wearing a floaty dress and sandals or, god forbid, a skirt? Oh no. They will sit in the park, still wearing jeans and boots (we'll come onto boots later) and a scarf, sitting on the coat they brought just incase thr temperature plummets 20 degrees. Go out wearing no tights in Germany and prepare for the biggest stares of your life. On a night out, do not expect to see girls wearing skirts and tops that barely cover their modesty, teamed with heels they can't walk in. A German woman's idea of dressing up is jeans, a nice top and another pair of boots.

4. Wear a scarf and boots all year round

If there is one item that will instantly make you appear more Germanic, its definitely ein Schal (scarf.) Preferably a long one you can loop around your neck a few times in a neutral colour. Germans love scarves. It wouldn't surprise me if shops specifically dedicated to scarves exist here. There's a shop in Cologne that sells only umbrellas- nothing will shock me anymore

5.Buy a pair of boots as though you're buying a car

When you think of German exports, what first comes to mind? Cars, electrical products, Dr Oetker pizzas? Oh no. If Germans can make anything well, its most definitely a pair of boots. The amount of shoe shops here is staggering. You can even purchase a pair of boots on your way to catch your train at Koln Hauptbahnhof. 

6.Never even consider cutting your hair

Germans love a good full head of hair. Perhaps it's because it can double up as a scarf when the unthinkable happens. Having chin-length hair, I can never pass myself off as a true German. 

7.Have a svelte figure despite having a cuisine based around bread and sausage

I don't know whether it has anything to do with their genes, but the majority of Germans seem to be slim. At least in comparison to British people. But whilst you're enjoying your new diet of bread, cheese and meat, followed by more bread, cheese and meat and a little bit of chocolate and sausage thrown in for good measure, you'll need to think of a way to stay looking slim and healthy- exercise.

I'd say every single German I have met here does some form of exercise or sport. So purchase that gym membership or get yourself to a pilates class led by a petrifying Brazilian/German woman. That's what I do, not that it's working.

8. Always jeans, for every occasion

If anybody can do smart/casual, its the Germans. They can make a jean look appropriate for any occasion, from a Sunday walk (because its the only thing to do on a Sunday) to a posh dinner party. Even my normally jean-phobic self has been wearing them more and more here, although my pairs are pink and green. You can take the girl out of Britain...

9. Beanies for girls, hipster glasses for boys

If you would describe yourself as 'edgy,' 'hip' or 'alternative,' forget about individuality here in Germany. Even hipsters here have a uniform. Girls wear beanie hats, even inside at sweaty gigs. And for the boys, a pair of oversized glasses is your key item to distinguish yourself as a bit 'edgy.' Imagine the awkward moment when I went to an Admiral Fallow gig wearing my slightly hipster-like glasses and with an undercut. I pretty much looked like a transsexual in the hipster world.

And finally....

10. Expect to be stared at, whatever you are wearing

The Germans are a starey bunch of Leute. I thought this was just an untrue stereotype. It is not. I get stared at on the Bahn, in the supermarket, around Cologne on a daily basis. But I try to look on the bright side. I just think they're admiring my glaringly obvious British style. After all, how many German fashion houses can you think of?

Next time, its Part 2 of How to be German: Body language